I wanted to eat with my family, but they weren’t as aware about “eating healthy…”
What an exhausting 10 years of trying not to eat in front of anyone to avoid judgement of what my plate looked like, or didnt look like. It was 2016 when my family and I went to eat a steakhouse restaurant and I instantly became triggered. My mom had been trying to get me to eat all day. I could feel my family monitoring how little I consumed and so going to eat together was a way they could insure I’d have a well rounded meal.
I didnt know what I wanted to eat, definitely wanted the roll, but I also didnt want to lose progress I had made….I wanted to be able to maintain the discipline of eating my own foods, weightloss I was making. Eating out was a no go. I didnt know exactly what was in my foods, theres probably way too much butter in there I didnt know about, this isnt “clean” eating, etc…. It was much easier for me to just not eat than the constant conversation I was having in my head about what I was allowed to eat or not. I ended up not eating and eating in my room later where no one could see me.
Anyone relate to wanting to eat with family, but they arnt as aware of your new eating preferences and “they just wouldnt understand?”
Over the years in the my eating disorder recovery, my family learned how to adapt and adjust to make me feel comfortable in my healing, but you know what also happened? THEY STARTED TO ADOPT SOME OF THE SAME HEALTHY HABITS!
Who you surround yourself with matters and even if they dont seem like theyre watching….. we always are. We’re human.
So, 2 tips that helped me change the way my family and I navigated meals together:
1) Create a healthy family environment around our food choices
What does this look like?
- Choosing a restaurant together that you know has a variety of healthier options as well.
- Try NOT making comments on someone’s plate that chooses a “healthier” option than you may have done.
“Sandra is good, she gets a salad.” “Look, Caleb does so good, he got the chicken.”
- Trying a new food or vegetable together.
2) Maintain your progress and healthy lifestyle aka NOT DIETING OR BINGING for a restaurant.
-Have the roll! My goodnesssssss. When you obsess over NOT having the roll, its so much harder to balance that mindset and not be in a “reward” “punishments'” situation.
What a balance mindset looks like: have the roll, eat your meal until 80% full, take leftovers for later instead of finishing the plate, move on.
- Dont obsess over “treat meals'“ and using your restaurant as a time to get on track after, treat yourself because your stayed on track all week, or have whatever you want and just get back on track after.
When eating out isnt part of our lifestyle routine, then its so easy to use these meals as a time to pack on an extra 700-900 calories and totally reverse any progress you made in the week.
Balance your mindset and your meals at restaurants and stop using them to binge or treat yourself. Even if portion control is the goal, ITS BETTER THAN not discipling ourselves to stop when we’re full because its something we “never get to eat.”
Our lifestyles literally involve every part of our routine. If your family isnt on board or youre alone in starting this journey, include your friends and fam and let them know how they can help you in this AMAZING step in your life too! Chances are, they will start to participate with you. Chances are, they wanted to support or join you all along and just felt embarrassed to say so.
Team work makes the dream work!